Sunday, February 5, 2023

Conversion: A Transformative Journey

 Augustine’s Contribution to Our Journey of Conversion in our Time

Introduction

Have you ever thought: why is it that I repeat again and again the same sins? It doesn’t matter what I do, I keep falling into my predominant sin! Well, you are not alone. The road to conversion for some comes in an instant, but for the average person, it is a lifelong, continuous journey. The journey of conversion requires mentoring, perseverance, and God’s grace. We cannot achieve conversion by ourselves. It requires accompaniment from people who have a bit of experience in their journey of faith, our constant work towards becoming better, and ultimately God’s constant help.

I want to undertake a quest of understanding the road of conversion from what Augustine’s experience, without a doubt, contributes to those who want to grow in their unity with God. I want to part from the premise that many are interested in a deeper connection with themselves and ultimately with God, they long for conversion. However, they may have no models who may resonate with them, and our dependance of Technology does not help the situation. With this said, I want to try to give an understanding of Augustine’s conversion, which may help us to make sense of our relationship with God and how our dependance of technology may or may not aid us in this journey.

 

Conversion: Transformative Models

Coaching is a term that you can hear almost everywhere. You can hear it at work, in sports, in hospitals, on social media, and even in church circles. Coaching is nothing new, it is as old as humanity. As long as humanity has tried to pass on their acquired knowledge to the next generation to prevent extinction, coaching has existed. Of course, as with anything else, it has evolved and has become a more refined art. Just think of Saint Augustine: he hired himself as a rhetoric coach “teacher”, and he was pretty good. Even though he disliked the immaturity of some of his pupils, he enjoyed the art of teaching rhetoric: “My heart was filled with hatred for these youths… Today I hate such people for being depraved and twisted, but I love them insofar as they may be corrected and may come to prefer the education to the money…”[1]

 

Coaching can be either helpful or detrimental for student or apprentice alike. Coaching is critical in every special aspect of life, as Kara Dennison mentions in her article Why Leaders Should Consider Shifting to a Coaching Leadership Style Now More Than Ever: “[Coaching is so critical] because it’s not just about professional development, but about boosting your employee’s confidence and building strong communication skills.”[2] The need for models of life pushes us to search always for the best leaders possible; however, having the best coach does not always ensure success. Look at the journey of conversion of the disciples of Jesus: “Behold, we are going to Jerusalem, and the Son of Man will be handed over to the chief priests and scribes, and they will condemn him to death and hand him over to the Gentiles… Then James and John, the sons of Zebedee, came to him and said to him, ‘Teacher, we want you to do for us whatever we ask of you.’”[3] The disciples had the best coach, but it took time for them to understand their own journey and to convert to the will of God. Even in the professional world, the coherence between what is proposed and what is lived is essential: “I have several personal experiences with coaches who preach these core values (professionalism, collaboration, humanity, and equity) to others but don’t follow them themselves. As part of the vetting, ask the prospective coach to share specific examples of how they demonstrate each of these values.”[4]

Augustine found coaches who were essential in his conversion journey because of their coherence and simplicity of life. Among them, we encounter Monica, Ambrose, and his friend Alypius. They were people who positively impacted Augustine and always enticed him to reconsider his way of living.

a.      Monica: Monica was a constant character in the life of Augustine. She was deeply committed to Augustine, to the point that she did not fear following Augustine to Milan. [5] The difficulties of life did not deter her from trusting in God’s promises, and with a greater effort, she prayed more to God with a grateful heart for Augustine’s conversion when she saw a small progress. Monica was also an example of the approach to life: she examined her custom rather than judging immediately the issue at hand, promoted pious gatherings, and offered new ways of understanding old traditions. [6]

b.      Ambrose: Ambrose found enjoyment in Augustine’s high respect. However, Augustine’s respect was due more to Ambrose’s recognition by powerful people, and his simplicity of life. Augustine was captivated and he continued to wonder about Ambrose’s way of living. Augustine saw in him a well-rounded person who refreshed his body and mind, as well as dedicated time to others and prayer. [7]

c.       Alypius: Alypius, who became the bishop of Thagaste around AD 394,[8] was a long-lasting friend of Augustine. Both were fond of each other and shared their experiences of life.[9] In Alypius, Augustine saw someone who was not bent to the likening of others or tried to fit in: “[A] rare soul which neither sought to make friends nor fear to make an enemy.”[10]

 

Now, after we have seen these people who were models for Augustine’s conversion let us turn our eyes to a particular modern phenomenon: “The Influencers.” These role models, presented for our younger generations, are creating an unrealistic reality that is not helping people to find well-grounded role models to help them in developing the best version of themselves: “If I follow influencers, in their way of life, e.g. what clothes I wear, what I consume and how I live, while at the same time trying to portray myself as unique, I can hardly concentrate on my own wishes.” [11] There is a sort of existential emptiness which does not help a person to either know what to do or what he wants to do. He either chooses to conform or does what others want him to do. [12]

 

Role models are important on one’s conversion journey, though they may be not enough to help to reach one’s full potential. The integration of life, either by habits, by a principle, or by a changing experience,[13] aids this process. For Augustine, the transformative experience comes in the form of a riddle: “tolle, lege, tolle, lege ‘pick up and read, pick up and read.’” [14] [15] As Augustine picks up the Word of God, he encounters peace, but not without the help of his friend, Alypius, and the grace of God. [16]

 

Conversion: A journey that requires time and work

Our journey of conversion, besides the help of others, requires some elements which must be integrated, namely, emotional, cognitive, physical, and spiritual. These elements require time and commitment to develop healthily. Nevertheless, our current reality doesn’t help much in the process of building up an integrated humanity. We want immediate results, and whenever we are not able to see quick results, we get anxious and lose hope. This erratic expectation doesn’t help us to grow, and our problem is exacerbated by our technological world, which puts at the tip of our fingers anything we want. This instant availability of things gives us the perception that even our spiritual journey should be the same. In a way, we are led to hopelessness when we see ourselves again and again in the same behaviors.

 

Let us look at how we transfer our dealings with virtual reality and online social networking, since it touches the lives of everybody. Virtual reality and the time we spend on our online networking communication, even though it helps much with our daily work, it does not do much to help us to achieve an emotional integration, much less our spiritual journey. It doesn’t help us to understand that the process of conversion takes time and work. You may be asking yourself what social networking and the use of social media has to do with perseverance, and more, with spiritual life. Here, we have to part from the premise that habits build over time. If we invest time and energy in good habits, we become better human beings. However, if we spend our time and energy on bad habits, it will deter us from having a well-balanced emotional life. “A habit is formed; when a habit is not checked, it hardens into a compulsion.”[17] In a way, the use of social media and modern means of communication is shaping the way we journey with God. In many ways, what we do with social media impacts the way we live, pray, and journey in life. We are constantly driven by checking our feeds and interacting with others, but this interaction is rather ephemeral and short-lived. This “mindlessly scrolling through social media feeds… it’s not the best habit when it comes to our collective psychology,”[18] affirms Alice Walton talking about the way that social media affects our mental health.

 

Therefore, the use of online social networking has the potential to affect or greatly contribute to our lives. However, it must be kept in check to take advantage of its positive aspects. One of the less positive aspects of the use of online networking is “instant gratification.” I am sure you have heard the saying: “Patience is a virtue.” Well, in many ways instant gratification goes against the patience we need to either cultivate a good habit or to get rid of a bad one. Just think of today’s daily life. You can order something on Amazon in the middle of the morning, and you are promised to get it before the end of the day. Also, you are promised mighty speeds for our phones, so that you won’t miss a notification or your favorite series. This constant stimulation prevents people from building patience and learning to build good habits: “The need for round-the-clock connection not only makes people more impatient, it also robs them of time for quiet reflection or deeper, more critical thinking.”[19] [20]

 

The lack of patience, time for quiet reflection, critical thinking, and time for prayer, exacerbates the journey of conversion. For most of us, conversion entails a life-long journey. It is a journey that requires time, patience, self-nurturing, and a sprinkle of the grace of God. It must be aided by a constant choice of God’s will.  We cannot change our whole self in an instant, rather, we must take time and invest in those habits, which in turn, will help us to grow in union with God. Augustine found a great formula in his journey of conversion: he found friends with whom he could share his thoughts and experiences, he understood that it is necessary to refresh oneself (food and exercise), and he also found out that it is necessary to dedicate time to prayer.[21] [22]

 

Augustine finds that only when we dedicate time to understand, to pray upon, and to try to communicate to others our experience of faith, we are engaging in the process of conversion.[23] It is not a matter of making great advancements, but rather doing with constancy what the Lord is calling us to do to balance out our lives, and to be aware of our recurring sinfulness and struggles, without forgetting that God’s Grace is in our journey.

 

 

Conversion: A journey with the grace of God not by our merits

Time to process emotions and thoughts is part of the process of conversion. We need to search for what absorbs our time and energy. The awareness of what takes our attention gives us an idea of what we need to focus on when we are working towards a style of life and a change in our hearts. Once we have found what drives our imagination, we must take specific steps toward what we want to achieve. We must help God to help us in the process of our conversion:[24] “Be a co-laborer with the gospel, according to the power of God, who saves and calls us with His Holy calling – not according to our works but according to his own design and the grace bestowed on us in Christ Jesus.”[25]

 

Augustine makes it clear that God’s grace must be part of the equation when we are working toward the rejection of temptation and sin. God’s intervention makes it possible for us to avoid the occasion of sin. Jesus Himself prays for his disciples so that they may be able to be faithful to God’s mission and will: “I do not ask that you take them out of the world but that you keep them from the evil one.”[26] God’s grace is indispensable for our conversion, we cannot change ourselves out of sheer force of will.”[27]: “Yet the determination of the human will is insufficient, unless the Lord grant it victory in answer to prayer that it enter not into temptation.”[28] God’s grace is indispensable, and God gives it to us freely.

 

Therefore, God’s grace is a gift granted to us, not because of our merits, but because of the graciousness of God: “Grace, therefore, is from the One who calls, the good works that result are from the one who receives that grace. These good works do not produce grace; they are produced by grace.”[29] It is only when we acknowledge, with humility, that everything we have comes from God,[30] that we understand that it is not because of our doings that we obtain grace, but by believing that God’s grace is in us, and grace will help us to produce good works: “I have obtained mercy that I might be faithful.”[31]

 

Consequently, we ought to collaborate with God in our journey of conversion. Trusting that God is leading us to a fuller life even though we would like to have it right here and right now. Knowing our strengths and our weakness will enable us to collaborate more deeply with God’s grace.[32] As Augustine says: “I believe it to be pleasing in your sight that I should withdraw the service of my tongue from the market of speechifying, so that young boys who were devoting their thoughts not to your law, not to your peace… should no longer buy from my mouth the weapons for their frenzy.”[33] He was good in rhetoric, and what he was doing was good. However, as he is journeying towards a deeper union with God, he recognizes that, even though his gift is good, his gift may not be helpful for him and others.[34] This realization sets him on the way to change a habit, not without pain, but knowing that it was for the best for him and those around him.

 

Moreover, when we understand that God is walking with us and aiding us to grow in his life, we then desire more to grow in his life and will. It gives us the desire to not be separated from him and to do everything we do because we find ourselves loved by God.[35] I guess that a prayer, which is attributed to Saint Teresa of Avila, but which no one is certain the origin of it, can summarize the firing passion that someone can get from understanding God’s love: “In the end, what moves me is your love; and in such a manner that even if there’d been no heaven, I’d’ve loved you, and even if there’d been no hell, I’d’ve feared you. You do not have to give to me, because I would love you. Then, even if I’d not have hoped how much I hope, I’d’ve desired you the same that I desire you.”[36] Augustine would agree when he says: “On your exceedingly great mercy rests all my hope. Give what you command, and then command whatever you will.”[37]

 

Conclusions

As modern people, we want answers, and we look for fast changes. However, when it comes to developing our humanity and spiritual life, we realize that changes don’t come as fast as we would like them to come. Therefore, we are called to journey with our eyes open, with perseverance, and with God’s Grace.

In conclusion, we must understand that conversion requires learning about God’s will, either by reading, listening to other stories of life, or seeing the transformative presence of God in others. We also need to cooperate with God and be constant, even though we do not understand the way. Finally, we must understand that we receive God’s grace freely, and when we are moved to look for what pleases God, we become more sensitive to our sinfulness. Also, we must become more sensitive to His grace. We must actively get in touch with God, look for what we want Him to help us with, do our part, and pray for those things we cannot do without His help. Lastly, if we frequently keep in mind the life of St Augustine, and his process of conversion, the steps we take in our own conversion may prove to be more beneficial to us.                                                                                               

Consulted Material

1.       Augustine of Hippo. 2012. The Confessions: Saint Augustine of Hippo. Edited by David Vincent Meconi. Translated by Maria Boulding. San Francisco, CA: Ignatius Press.

 

2.       Harmless, William (ed.) 2010. Augustine In His Own Words. Washington, D.C.: The Catholic University of America Press.

 

3.       Viktor Frankl. 1991. El Hombre en Busca de Sentido. Barcelona: Editorial Herder.

 

4.       Augustine, On Grace and Free Will, II, VXVI, 7. Accessed November 19, 2022.  https://www.newadvent.org/fathers/1510.htm

 

5.       Kara Dennison. 2021, “Leadership Strategy.” Why Leaders Should Consider Shifting to a Coaching Leadership Style Now More Than Ever. Accessed November 6, 2022. https://www.forbes.com/sites/karadennison/2021/09/20/why-leaders-should-consider-shifting-to-a-coaching-leadership-style-now-more-than-ever/?sh=7fe6c5b02f81

 

6.       Forbes. “Expert Panel.” Council Post. Accessed November 6, 2022. https://www.forbes.com/sites/forbescoachescouncil/2022/01/21/looking-for-a-coach-14-examples-of-bad-coaching-to-look-out-for/?sh=68e0f46e3766

 

7.       Midwest Augustinians. “Saint Alypius.” Accessed November 12, 2022. https://www.midwestaugustinians.org/st-alypius

 

8.       Elisa Miebach. 2019. “Science” Why Our Brains Loves Instagram. Accessed November 6, 2022. https://www.dw.com/en/instant-gratification-and-the-pursuit-of-perfection-why-our-brains-love-instagram/a-50039609

 

9.       Benedict XVI. 2008. General Audience. Vatican Web page. Accessed November 7, 2022. https://www.vatican.va/content/benedict-xvi/en/audiences/2008/documents/hf_ben-xvi_aud_20080227.html

 

10.   Alice G. Walton. 2017. “Healthcare.” 6 Ways Social Media Affects Our mental Health. Accessed November 7, 2022. https://www.forbes.com/sites/alicegwalton/2017/06/30/a-run-down-of-social-medias-effects-on-our-mental-health/?sh=4ba18dc42e5a

 

11.   Ronald Alsop. 2014. “News.” Instant Gratification & Its Dark Side. Accessed November 12, 2022. https://www.bucknell.edu/news/instant-gratification-its-dark-side

 

12.   Igor Pantic, 2014. “Cyberpsychology, Behavior and Social Networking.” Online Social Networking and Mental Health. Accessed November 12, 2022. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4183915/

 

13.   Aliens in This World. “No Me Mueve Mi Dios.” Accessed November 21, 2022. https://suburbanbanshee.wordpress.com/2012/01/23/no-me-mueve-mi-dios/

 

14.   USCCB. “Books of the Bible.” Accessed November 20, 2022. https://bible.usccb.org/bible/

 

15.   Merton, Thomas. 1961. The New Man. New York: Mentor-Omega Books.



[1] Augustine, Confessions, V.XII.22

[2] Kara Dennison. 2021, “Leadership Strategy.” Why Leaders Should Consider Shifting to a Coaching Leadership Style Now More Than Ever. Accessed November 6, 2022, https://www.forbes.com/sites/karadennison/2021/09/20/why-leaders-should-consider-shifting-to-a-coaching-leadership-style-now-more-than-ever/?sh=7fe6c5b02f81

[3] Mark 10:33; 35.

[4] Forbes. “Expert Panel.” Council Post. Accessed November 6, 2022. https://www.forbes.com/sites/forbescoachescouncil/2022/01/21/looking-for-a-coach-14-examples-of-bad-coaching-to-look-out-for/?sh=68e0f46e3766

[5] Augustine, Confessions VI, I, 1

[6] Augustine, Confessions VI, II, 2

[7] Augustine, Confessions VI, III, 3-4

[8] Midwest Augustinians. “Saint Alypius.” Accessed November 12, 2022. https://www.midwestaugustinians.org/st-alypius

[9] Augustine, Confessions, VI, VI, 6

[10] Augustine, Confessions, VI, IX, 9

[11] Elisa Miebach. 2019. “Science” Why Our Brains Loves Instagram. Accessed November 6, 2022. https://www.dw.com/en/instant-gratification-and-the-pursuit-of-perfection-why-our-brains-love-instagram/a-50039609

[12] Frankl, El Hombre en Busca de Sentido, pg. 108. “El hombre ha sufrido otra pérdida: las tradiciones que habían servido de contrafuerte a su conducta se están diluyendo a pasos agigantados. Carece, pues, de un instinto que le diga lo que ha de hacer, y no tiene ya tradiciones que le indiquen lo que debe hacer; en ocasiones no sabe ni siquiera lo que le gustaría hacer. En su lugar, desea hacer lo que otras personas hacen (conformismo) o hace lo que otras personas quieren que haga (totalitarismo).”

[13] Frankl, El Hombre en Busca de Sentido, pg. 112. “Ya hemos dicho que el sentido de la vida siempre está cambiando, pero nunca cesa. De acuerdo con la logoterapia, podemos descubrir este sentido de la vida de tres modos distintos: (1) realizando una acción; (2) teniendo algún principio; y (3) por el sufrimiento. En el primer caso el medio para el logro o cumplimiento.”

[14] Benedict XVI. 2008. General Audience. Vatican Web page. Accessed November 7, 2022. https://www.vatican.va/content/benedict-xvi/en/audiences/2008/documents/hf_ben-xvi_aud_20080227.html

[15] Augustine, Confessions VIII, 12, 29

[16] Augustine, Confessions, VIII, 12, 19

[17] Augustine, Confessions, VII, V, 10

[18] Alice G. Walton. 2017. “Healthcare.” 6 Ways Social Media Affects Our mental Health. Accessed November 7, 2022. https://www.forbes.com/sites/alicegwalton/2017/06/30/a-run-down-of-social-medias-effects-on-our-mental-health/?sh=4ba18dc42e5a

[19] Ronald Alsop. 2014. “News.” Instant Gratification & Its Dark Side. Accessed November 12, 2022. https://www.bucknell.edu/news/instant-gratification-its-dark-side

[20] Igor Pantic, 2014. “Cyberpsychology, Behavior and Social Networking.” Online Social Networking and Mental Health. Accessed November 12, 2022. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4183915/

[21] Harmless, Augustine in his own words, pg.406

[22] Mark 6:31

[23] Benedict XVI. 2008. General Audience. Vatican Web page. Accessed November 20, 2022. https://www.vatican.va/content/benedict-xvi/en/audiences/2008/documents/hf_ben-xvi_aud_20080227.html

[24] Augustine, On Grace and Free Will, II, VXVI, 7. Accessed November 19, 2022.  https://www.newadvent.org/fathers/1510.htm

[25] Augustine, On Grace and Free Will, II, VXVI, 12

[26] John 17:15

[27] Harmless, Augustine in his own words, pg.406

[28] Augustine, On Grace and Free Will, II, VXVI, 9

[29] Harmless, Augustine in his own words, pg.385-386

[30] Thomas Merton, The New Man, Pg. 64

[31] Augustine, On Grace and Free Will, II, VXVI, 17

[32] Harmless, Augustine in his own words, pg.395

[33] Augustine, Confessions, IX, II, 2

[34] Benedict XVI. 2008. General Audience. Vatican Web page. Accessed November 22, 2022. https://www.vatican.va/content/benedict-xvi/en/audiences/2008/documents/hf_ben-xvi_aud_20080227.html

[35] Viktor Frankl, El Hombre en Busca de Sentido, Pg. 102-103

[36] Aliens in This World. “No Me Mueve Mi Dios.” Accessed November 21, 2022. https://suburbanbanshee.wordpress.com/2012/01/23/no-me-mueve-mi-dios/

[37] Augustine, Confessions, X, XXIX, 40

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